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Boss Knows Best?

Submitted by dmuth on Mon, 2006-01-09 22:01.
(Originally written by Jeffry Bloss)

The year the Mich scare was in full bloom I was working for a company whose PC's were under the direct supervision of the head accountant dude. His brother-in-law or something was a "mainstream programmer" working for a "respectable software vendor". Our accountant was convinced by his relative that shareware, BBS's, and anyone who even spoke the words was evil incarnate. "Brother" directed him to buy a $120 "top-of-the-line" commercial antivirus package. The name isn't
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Cnet's Top Ten Signs That You're a Computer Virus

Submitted by dmuth on Mon, 2006-01-09 21:59.
The horror! The horror! Of all the nightmares we covered in our "Windows 95 nightmares" story, we missed the most Kafka-esque: to wake up one morning and discover you've been transformed into the most hated of all computer software...a virus. We've uncovered a few telltale signs that you've suffered this fate...

10. Only sociopaths think you're cool.
9. Sandra Bullock is fascinated by you...and you know it's nothing to do with
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Lion King Viruses

Submitted by dmuth on Mon, 2006-01-09 21:57.
If you've been collecting a few too many Lion King video clips or MP3s and ever have a virus infection one day, you may just end up with one of the following Lion King Viruses:

  • The Scar Virus: Causes the user to run away and never return

  • The Mufasa Virus: Causes your computer to die under a stampede of GNU viruses

  • The Sarafina Virus: After every movement pops up a dialogue box with "What do you think, Sarabi?"

  • The Sarabi Virus: Causes your computer not to work anymore unless you install the Zazu virus

  • The Zazu Virus: Causes your computer to being converted into a handsome
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Viruses Can Be Funny!

Submitted by dmuth on Mon, 2006-01-09 21:56.
Getting hit by a virus is never a joke. But afterwards, once people have had a chance to reflect, they'll do the same thing they do with any other tragedy. They'll make jokes about it.

If you found this site while dealing with a virus problem, I can't promise that reading any of these files will fix your problem. But they might help lift your spirits.

Lion King Viruses
If you're a fan of Disney's The Lion King, you'll recognize the names of some of these viruses!
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